Hi!!!

hey everyone,. i just stole some time off lunch to update my blog! if my job was boring, i wudda be updating my blog often! lol, its going great so far, just no fb, no msn, but i just gotta live! lol and i have a very cool supervisor.... =)

And here goes....

Well I really need to slap myself for waiting until now to update my blog, but there was so much going on!! my mom's 50th Birthday thanksgiving service went very well!! but yo! the preparations was hard! I had to do a lot of stuff, but in the end it was all worth it. And then I had a conference in church which was for 3 days, but that was like wow!! I had to be in church a lot, morning, afternoon, and night!!!! And then I'm working :O lol so it was kinda tough to fit in the blog, but I deserve a hard kick, feel free to kick me Bloggers!!!!!!!! lolz, well I guess y'all read my previous post about my friend and I, well He's going to Canada so I was really sad for a while, I even cried, but hey there's nothing I could do, there was always a possibility of him going there anyways, but he always used to say if a certain something works he would stay, and his parents would just leave him behind... But I'm sure you guys know what that 'something' is. Oh well life goes on!!!!!!!!!!!

:(......... :).......... :S

I really dont't know how to feel.... my friend is in love with me, byt the thing is I don't feel the same way, now that its out in the open, it looks as though, I don't even have him as a friend anymore, this is really hurting me yo! here's the chat log, I'm - M.J. and he's (U) 3VAC (U)




M.J o.O ok




M.J. so u not tellin me 8-)



(U) 3VAC (U) lol nope not until u at least guess or something




M.J. umm wht is abt giv me a hint



M.J. lol





(U) 3VAC (U) if i give u a hint


u wud fine it out



trust me



M.J. umm is it abt me alone, or u and i



(U) 3VAC (U) both of us


M.J. Hmmm u think u love me or sumtin?



(U) 3VAC (U) yah



M.J. u srs ? :S




(U) 3VAC (U) yh




M.J. Hmmm ok then, i dont feel the same way tho .... i'm srry... :(


(U) 3VAC (U) yeah




(U) 3VAC (U) Its ok




M.J. ok *-)




(U) 3VAC (U) u dont even like me fully so i know love is way out of the question
but thats ok lol i accustomed to it



M.J. ok then dont make it sound so bad


M.J. lol


M.J i care abt u tho



(U) 3VAC (U) yeah i know




M.J. i gone i too sick




ok here's later down in d night.

(U)3V@C(U) least i got the hard part over
see... i had this thing right and i used to say good things dont happen to
ppl like me and u prolly was a really good thing that happened but that was
all in my mind...

M.J. na man u shudnt make me sound so gud, i cud b a rel bitch at times, especially
if i'm in a relationship, i might jus stress u out

(U)3V@C(U) but this jus hurts on a diff level

M.J. ok, well
M.J. i dont hav a prob tryin
M.J. cuz
M.J. i think ur cool
M.J. an straight forward

(U)3V@C(U) Nah nah 4get it...i not guilting anyone into anything..

M.J. i not feelin guilty
M.J. u gotta take risks at times, its me too, i kinda built this thing in my mind that all boys r bad
M.J. cauz i only get d biggest A$es

(U)3V@C(U) Hey ur smart , beautiful and u love god youll make a successful life and live
long go for someone who has those qualities im jus an obstacle...

M.J. hey stop downing urself like that, u need to hav a lil more confidence in urself dude

(U)3V@C(U) Dont worry ill be fine

M.J. ok, so like i cud only talk to u on msn only, no face to face interaction, or phone or n e
thing no moe hanging out??

(U)3V@C(U) nah girl right now i cryin like a lil baby...it sad eh..

M.J. idk y u makin me CRy now dang

(U)3V@C(U) Nah girl i strong i jus listening to some music and i good

M.J. Hmm ok well i'm not

(U)3V@C(U) Dont study it girl
I tell u before i accustommed to it

M.J. i cant but study it......... wen i consider ppl my frens i feel hurt wen they're hurt
M.J. help*

(U)3V@C(U) jus block meh on msn
(U)3V@C(U) and well call it square

M.J. y shud i???? ur my fren.
M.J. ok if u wanna b that way well fine, but that really hurt, its like u dont even
wanna b my fren but ok
M.J. i will then if it makes u feel better

(U)3V@C(U) i wanna b ur fren but it hurts me bad
(U)3V@C(U) knowin u right there and i cant do nothin
(U)3V@C(U) Ok then dont block me

M.J. ok, i wont
M.J. but
M.J. nvm

M.J. u dere?

(U)3V@C(U) yeah

M.J. well i gone dere, i'm really srry u wont hav to deal with me again ,
i try not to come in ur way to make it harder
i'll**

(U)3V@C(U) Nah its not like that
(U)3V@C(U) we cool no worries


M.J. if u say so
M.J. i gone bye



IDK Y I'M FEELIN SO BAD, I VERY WELL KNOW THINGS AREN'T GONNA BE THE SAME, BETWEEN ME AND MY FRIEND, ITS SO SAD I LOST MY FRIEND :(