Should i let it go?

Okay, i'm not a crazy bitch, i just keep about 3 weapons close to my reach, because whenever my step-father comes i feel scared,angry,pissed, vex etc. so I always keep this cutlass under my desk, because I had to move the other weapons........ But I thought they were getting divorced? it really doesn't look that way nuh, but the reason why I go out so much, is because when I'm not home I feel free, I feel normal and I'm away from seeing my mother give-in to that son-of-a-bitch! even though he doesn't live here, he comes often more often than usual! because of the fact that his mistress trusts him[the other woman] God I wish that woman does something to make his life a living hell. I see her a lot because she has a store in Port-of-Spain, but she looks like she really likes him. But then I wonder when I get my car, will I constantly be driving, going somewhere that isn't home? Am I running away from my problems? But how do you work out such problems, that you have no control over?

I'm hardly home now, I'm only home when no one is home, when my mother and brother go to work and my sis goes to school, and when they come home I go for my lessons, and after lessons three or four days for the week I go do something with Gina, whether is just to go movie towne, go Globe, or even the playground or by my cousins. And when I do get home I just go straight to my room, do whatever home-work I have, and then talk on the phone for hours, with my other friends, and somewhere between that time I come online and check e-mail and stuff, go to bed early so that the day finishes faster... so I could just repeat this cycle until, my mother gives me some more rope, so I could get a next bf or something, and start a new life and keep the past locked away forever, and move on with my life. Does that sound selfish? well hear what I really don't care anymore because I can't tell people how to live their life, so I'm just gonna live, and be free from my family's problems, and keep it "my family's problems" and not Haley's Problems, because sometimes I feel like no one's listening so I will longer be saying anything for anyone in this house to hear! I mean I love my mom, I wouldn't abandon her, and ship her off to some old people's home, but I just think she needs to wake up and smell the coffee!