Woi woi

Today was a great day. Me and my other town rat friends went and lime in town[port-of-spain] we are not mall rats, lol just town rats, but i feeling real tired...so i'll explain that day around thursday, because I have an exam tomorrow, and thursday :( when i get home thursday, i'll do it, lol.....

btw, my step-bro ain't reply yet........

I got cussed.....

Yesterday, after all of that drama, with my step-bro on facebook, I got cussed. I go to a different church from my mother, so I leave before her, and when I come home, she's now leaving. But yesterday, while on my way home, I saw her pass me by in the car, so she saw me. When she got home, she started yelling at me for wearing all black to church!{shoes, pants,top,accessories}, so I was like black is a colour, but she heard when I told my brother the night before, that I'm wearing black to church because, I'm mourning, because is father's day....first to begin, I told her that I didn't wanna go, because, in church, the children/teens sing for their dads, or say a poem or something about their dads, and I wasn't feeling to hear that crap. She told me never to do that, but honestly, even if she knew the reason, I don't see why I couldn't wear it,,,, the woman just having problems, because she going through menopause.

But I love her still. I feel sorry for my bro, he was calling his dad to wish him happy father's day, but his step mother, didn't allow him to talk to his dad, she's a bitch, after all those years, the boy is 22 years now and she still wants to keep them apart. You know it makes my mom sound slutty to some people because, my three siblings and I don't have the same father, but really my mother isn't so, that's just the way it happend.. That's life I guess.....The only two who have great dads are my older sister, and my little sister, my brother and I have been emotionally scared for life...so most of the time...he comes and just sits and shares his feelings with me, My brother says, he feels like how I feel, like there's something missing, because he says his dad is dead for him. Yesterday, I spent most of my day with my brother, just talking, because we both were experiencing the same feelings. But my lil sis was really excited because, well its father's day and her dad's there so she was jolly like juice[juice, wtf... whteva]...So thats was my crummy day yesterday.......

Feeling nice...

I feel somewhat "nice", because I'm helping my step-father find his son on the internet. My step-father has a son, who lives in Canada with his mom. He is 22 years old by now, but I met him once when he came to Trinidad, about 5 years ago, so I had an idea what he looked like, because he gave us a few pics, because my step-father only had baby pics of him. In our living room, there is a picture of all my mother's children, and all my step-father's children. So I just stopped for a while, thinking that, probably since this boy lives in Canada, that he may have a facebook,hi5,myspace or tagged account. So since I have all of the above, I decided to type his name in the search. Myspace was to fricking confusing, hi5 no results, tagged didn't find the right person. Just when I was about to give up, I thought to myself, he has to be on facebook, because more mature young adults who are not into all html crap are on that. And lo and behold, when I typed his name in search, he was the third person on the search list. His face hasn't changed a bit, just a little facial hair, but before sending a friend request I called my step-father to see it, before I could even say is this ........... He was like "Ey that's Chris!" He calls my mom Honey, so then he shouted, "Honey, Honey come and see this nah, look she find my son![with his eyes full of tears]. It was very touching to see him cry, but I told him, that his son has accept the friend request first.

But when he accepts it, then what? Do I go straight up and say hey bro, or send him a message, telling him who I am? Suppose he wants nothing to do with my step-father, because he feels that he doesn't care? Suppose he looks at the friend request and says who the fuck is this? I don't know this person? and then ignore it......But I just have to hope and pray he accepts it!.... Two of my aunts were there, that night, but I was on my phone talking to Gina. But my family talks loud, with a high pitch voice so Gina could hear them in the backround lol. The convo went like this - step-father-"Ey this girl could real 'operate' the computa gud eh!. aunt#1-"Yea boi, why allyuh en fine ah wuk fuh she, whey she could 'operate' computa all day.{lol by this time me and Gina real laughing} aunt#2-"Yea she go make we proud, and make plenty money." step father-"Ey if yuh see how much ting she does do on that eh.. she does read d papers, and watch nah all d papers yuh kno! and she does fine any picture yuh want" lol lol lol..... imagine how I much I amaze my family. That was kinda cool, to be praised, for something any computer literate person could do!

Whats the matter with me?

hmmm....my mind is totally blank. I can't think of anything to write, I thinks its because of my excitement for my last exam, and the days pass by, with no hurt, which is a good thing..and no exciting stories, So maybe I have to let it build up......

Crappy Memories

Yesterday I found my old dairy, and while I was going through it, I was like wow, I was a little punk! Because in the diary I was just writing about school and being teased and shit and my transformation from geek to chic lol. And if anyone was to meet me now, they wouldn't think I was a little punk... Now I watch those little form 1's - 3's, and they way they talk about boys, it makes me sick, They'll be like how he's so nice, He's so fine...lol.. when you pass by, you only hear He, He and he,..... And from reading my diary I was just like "frigging" them! When I had my first bf, in my diary, every time I wrote his name there was a heart around his name... Oh wow, I had no idea I was so 'sad' as we trini's would say.
And here's a paragraph from the diary dated: Jul/8/2006- Oh my god I saw {J}-[there was a heart around his name] today in movie towne, we went to see "Superman" it was great!! he put his strong arms around me when I was feeling cold,:) and even after the movie, we stayed seated, cuddling and junk! He's the best boyfriend in the whole entire universe!! And I love him so much!!After the movie we went by the balcony, hugging eachother, and exchanging soft kisses..........Then it was time for me leave, He was like,, babe, do you have to leave now... and gave me the warmest hug.. so warm, when I went in the car I was still feeling his embrace....and I was still smelling his cologne, which was not good at all!! I stayed far from my aunt!
Alright that's enough, of that crap!!!!! Don't laugh!! lol.. I forgot how girly I was... There's more but, that piece was kinda funny, well for me at least.
But the same {J}, was an asshole, we were together, on and off for 3 years, but the last time we broke up, I made sure it was for good! he didn't respect my wishes, of waiting till I'm married, he was only asking for "the thing" lol, I couldn't take it anymore, I told him I couldn't deal with this relationship, and then he kept calling me up, and asking for a third chance, He even threatened to kill himself, but that did not change my decision. I really don't know, but testosterone takes over boy's head. It's like their 'you know what' is their second brain!
Right now I'm still reading through my very funny diary... lol , If I come across another funny line, I'll share it again.

I'm not gonna doubt anymore!

Yesterday was very relaxing, I went over my Integrated-Science notes, and chilled with my lil sis in my room. Since the computer was off, I decided to turn it on for my sis to paint on it, cause she needs some tutoring, to use the computer, So when I realised she got the hang of it I decided to leave her alone. After a while of watching her, my eyelids were becoming heavy, lol... So I just closed my eyes, and went to dream land, that was about 5:30pm. When it was 6:15pm, she woke me up, because she was finished using the computer.. I was so tired... I just sent her to her room, and left it on.
While turning in my sleep, some ass called my phone, and wasn't saying a word, I was just hearing them breathing..So after I told them to "haul their m****er so and so," I saw that it was 8:04pm.. I was like oh crap, I have to get ready for school tomorrow. After cooling out from the sleep,"ah went an take ah bathe" after that I did all the necessary things for school and then decided to iron my school clothes. While ironing my mother was there with me watching ZeeTv soaps.. when it went on a break,, I was like mom, tomorrow is my father's[deceased] birthday.... she was really, how could it be, tomorrow is not the 11th [as his b'day is the 11th], I said 'oh yes it is'... She looked at me with her Wtf is wrong with you face, bring your C.X.C. slip and a calendar..before looking at the calendar... I said you see mom its the 11th, then she said yea the exam is on the 11th, but tomorrow is not... I was FEELING SO SHAME!!!!!! Omg... My brother was laughing at me for most of the night..Hmmm not me again. mother Knows best.. I "running down the people exams"lol...

Wheey....

This weekend was totally wicked! Friday we had a little house party for my mom and nephew, because their birthday is the same day. But when it was like 12:30am, i fell asleep on the staircase, I guess I losing my party vibes, lol...And Saturday I went by my cousins to spend the weekend, I was trying to use their P.c. to check out all my accounts, but I forgot how much it sucks to use dial-up.. so I just didn't bother. Saturday, my cousin and about 4 of his friends and I went to Movie towne, to loiter, because we were not feeling to move like rich kids and pay $45.00 Flicking Dollars!!! to see a movie lol...that was fun though, even though I was the only girl :(. Those mad dudes, went into the pricemart carpark, and riding the people grocery trolleys!! And a little while after...the security guard saw us...I WAS LIKE OMG!!!!!! I took off my shoes and ran straight in front long john's silver!! lol.. After that we decided to keep a low profile lol. Then my older cousin came for us..about 9:30pm, and went for a long drive, it was cool though, because they were playing some "real hard pound" but after while my head start to hurt! we end up in south...lol from St. James to south, we end up stopping somewhere, to buy food, and then it was back home, we came in about 12:15am, but my cousin like he has "worms" in his stomach, because he wanted to go and buy doubles on the main road. I went but I didn't buy :P, and now I'm back to boring home!!!!